half a key
http://steamcommunity.com/market/listings/440/Tour%20of%20Duty%20Ticket
or close to half
^ I know absolutely nothing about the game in question, but here's a poem stating such:
If you can, spare a moment, and sit by the fire
You can sit down and eat smores while the story transpires
Of a poor, dejected lad, who was the target of much ire
For choosing a more.... sedate strategy
For hiding in caves, in bunkers, in trees
He certainly didn't feel any sense of urgency
He patiently waited to dispatch his foes while playing Insurgency
A veteran camper, who never failed to hamper
The plans of his fellow man
And while he was merely utilizing his vast intellect
They treated him as though he had a defect
And insulted him as much as any person can
But when tensions heightened, the antagonists frightened
And cowardly turned tails and ran.
1 TF key for a poem that would glorify Hoff - the only true superhero known to mankind, a man whose voice brings down walls... grins
I assume you're talking about David Hasslehoff, sooooo, here goes: LOL)
If you're looking for a specimen exemplary
If you're looking for muscles immaculately designed
If you're looking for a creature rudimentary
Yet with a voice so completely refined
You can find these traits yes, in a whale swimming in the ocean or a bird into the distance flying off
But none displayed so prominently as in the specimen Hoff!
He eats ten eggs a day, prepared in various ways
To ensure that his chest hair always glistens
He drinks honey straight from the hive, although the bees against him strive
Because when he endeavors to sing, the bees halt mid-sting, for even even they cannot help but listen!
He once built a boat that failed to float,
Lest his plans go astray, he swam all the way
He arrived at the shore and began to travel more
Whereupon he reached his destination, and began a demonstration
Of his vocal prowess, which none else possess, filling the crowd with elation.
I once came across a dubious stranger, with a bloody axe in his hand
I deigned contact with him not worth the danger, and he soon felt my own weapon's reprimand
Whereupon I checked his body, and pondered how so laden he could ever stand!
He had a lifesaving assortment of canned goods and skin ointment
That I might have lived comfortably for some time
But alas, while I wondered to my torment, about my hostile comportment,
I was less than vigilant due to my troubled mind
A zombie came and my flesh he did rend, leaving myself barely able to defend
I finally dispatched him, now lame, my leg torn down to it's frame
Without bandages with which to mend, I was resigned to an untimely end
Yet ere darkness took me, a fool for friend mistook me,
I promptly bludgeoned him to the ground as soon as he was turned around
Bound my leg, which soon became sound
Then ever yonder I strode through marsh wood and road
And finally settled down in this humble abode
Lo and behold, here we stand today
I see you have a considerable amount of supplies.......... Please, stay.
Even though I'm not really into poetry, I love that this thread/trade exists. Free bump. :)
A new poem:
Grumpy Cat
In all of my travels, I've yet to see
A cat as disillusioned as Grumpy Cat.
She finds no joy in the flowers, in the trees
She takes no pleasure in buttons or hats
And she fails to comprehend why her owner portends that a red light is a living thing
I beheld lions and tigers and and all manner of feline
But none as brooding as Grump, it's true
While even the largest cats frolic from time to time
Her disposition is unwaveringly blue
And she just can't tolerate the happiness immoderate, of an average cat laying hold of string
Her face is crinkled with grumpiness incalculable
Her brow is set with annoyance
Nothing has ever elicited a smile, for nothing is able
Not a funny face, nor a humorous dance
And to her owner's chagrin, not even tuna makes her grin, for Grumpy Cat finds even the fanciest kinds of cat food disappointing Perhaps one day, her owner's concern's will be allayed
But I most sincerely doubt that tuna, mackerel, or trout
Lights flashing everywhere and all about
String flailing this way and that
Or the friendship of a neighborhood cat
Could ever curtail her grumpy ways
Could ever convince her to even endeavor to play.
Hahahah, this is brilliant, I wish I had thought of this... I did a free poem thread on the steam forums a while back.. people loved what I wrote.. hahaa good on ya man
Have a free bump from me too :D
A Most Sincere Apology:
I know it's been an unfathomably long period of time
Since I've sought to converse with you, it's true
I know it may be callous to now contact you through rhyme
But I hadn't a clue what else to do.
So I enlisted the help of a poetic friend
And this poem was soon poetically penned
To write a most sincere apology
And say "Sorry. To You, From Me."
The elephant ride tickets were much too expensive
And I thought about taking you skydiving, but I was apprehensive
So instead of relying on things grandiose
I decided to put my trust in something slightly more... verbose
Boxes of truffles seemed trifling things
And when I looked to buy parrots, they parroted out vulgar mutterings
So in lieu of things insignificant or crude
I thought that a poem might perhaps improve your mood.
The bouquets of flowers were very mundane
And the cashier at the pawn shop seemed clinically insane
So I resolved to say sorry in a more entertaining, safer way
I deigned to send you this poem, and hope, and pray.
The Insidious Nature of Felines
If you are prospectively searching for felines
I warn you, end your search instantly
They'll quickly mangle your leather and scratch your pine
To mark the beginning of their reign of tyranny
They'll beleaguer you incessantly all throughout the night
To make sure you always remain awake
And your efforts will fail, though you try with all your might
To bathe them properly, due to the commotion they make
They'll hatch devious schemes to defraud you of your fish
With their undeniably adorable eyes
But as soon as you have given them all for which they wish
They'll immediately drop their guise
If you are looking for an animal, adopt a dog or buy a bird
For the very notion of attempting to own a cat is simply absurd
While with training an avian or canine might come to follow your every word
A cat will lay around upon the ground and stare at you, unstirred.
Your New Glorious Leader
This is a message from the Uber Ethereal
My motives I will no longer conceal
We wish to... enlighten you
And we have no wish to frighten you
So if you would, please kindly end resistance
For if you choose to decline our offer, you may face our insistence
And that is something in your best interests to avoid
As of now, your constitutions are now null and void
Your weaponry is obscenely crude
And it will do nothing against me save darken my mood
So please kindly submit and lay down your arms
We do not wish your people any harm
We do not care whether or not you "want to believe"
Or whether or not you wish us to leave
We've resolved to evolve you that we may involve you in the solving of all our problems, as you may have heard
And we must confess that our first contact caused unnecessary stress but nonetheless we will continue to press onward.
Dude! Free bump! Awesome! Btw: I will give you a TF2 key if you write something about "Walking Dead" the game. Btw: I only played the first season, so no spoilers please!
The Walking Dead (And continuation of The Accidental Curator)
On my day off I was strolling through a rather pleasant, wooded path
When much to my dismay
A rather odd fellow came up to me, with evident wrath
And even more evident decay
I said hello, and he snarled in reply
At which point I asked what ailed him
I only received a glare from his baleful eyes
Right before a group of marauders assailed him
They shot him in the chest and in the face
Then prodded him for signs of life
I soon told the whole lot that they were an unseemly disgrace
Whereupon they looked at me strangely, and one of them offered me a knife
I slapped the murderous instrument away in disgust
And told them I'd never accompany their gang
They then looked at me as if I was crazy and replied, "You must"
Which incited me to give them a proper harangue
"You killed a man without remorse, you people are savages, or worse!"
"I understand he wasn't very polite, but rudeness doesn't make murder right!"
At which point they abandoned me, making remarks about my alleged "stupidity"
And now I roam from dawn to gloam, completely and terribly alone.
I am two fools, I know,
For loving, and for saying so
In whining poetry;
But where's that wiseman, that would not be I,
If she would not deny?
Then as th' earth's inward narrow crooked lanes
Do purge sea water's fretful salt away,
I thought, if I could draw my pains
Through rhyme's vexation, I should them allay.
Grief brought to numbers cannot be so fierce,
For he tames it, that fetters it in verse.
But when I have done so,
Some man, his art and voice to show,
Doth set and sing my pain;And, by delighting many, frees again
Grief, which verse did restrain.
To love and grief tribute of verse belongs,
But not of such as pleases when 'tis read.
Both are increased by such songs,
For both their triumphs so are published,
And I, which was two fools, do so grow three;
Who are a little wise, the best fools be.
Oh well now I'm confused...
who is the real Shakespeare ? :|
freemind6666 or ChuckCheese
Well, if you're talking about actual Shakespearean literature, then freemind6666 has me beat on that front.
ChuckCheese
Shhh.... now u delete ur comment : "Well, if you're talking about actual Shakespearean literature, then freemind6666 has me beat on that front." before freemind6666 read your post, and then u owe to him 1 TF2 Key ! :D
A Letter of Introduction
Allow me to introduce yours truly
Now before we proceed, I don't mean to worry you unduly
But I'm allergic to melons, they make me extremely sick
I'm even studying to become a doctor, and I've tried every trick
Yet even chocolate is an incapable antidote
Yes, even pure cocoa cannot soothe the pain in my throat
But allergies notwithstanding, I'm fairly amazing
I'm studious, and diligent, I've never once been caught dazing
I disassemble advanced algorithms in my sleep
When you see me gaze into the distance, I'm thinking thoughts extremely deep
I've solved riddles that can't be comprehended by the average mind
I've discovered entire universes that no one else was able to find
I leave all of my colleagues so far behind
That they throng around me, trying to get their books signed
I travel to see sophisticated architecture when I need to unwind
And when I greet even the most prominent scientists, they respond in kind
And now, with my characteristics properly outlined
You must concede that in every way you've been thoroughly out shined.
tee hee, this is my fav :3
EDIT: I have a spare ToD just lying around if you would have it :)
The Curator Happens Into Oz
After roaming until I had spent all my strength
I sat down on the ground in despair
And after thinking about my predicament at great length
I concluded that it wasn't fair
Once I had properly rested, I again began to walk
My legs felt terribly, horribly, atrociously thoroughly worryingly sore
And being alone was lonely, so to my lonesome I began to talk
I said to me "Don't you see? we're passing the same trees we have before!"
I suddenly came upon a house that seemed unusual indeed
But for all it's quirks, I was still seeking shelter
And I was in desperate need of food other than grubs and the occasional weed
So I broke out in a full sprint, running helter-skelter
I knocked for several minutes, then deduced that no one was in
Whereupon I came inside and foraged for sustenance
And found none in the pantries, cabinets, or bins
But before I had time to lament, a strong gale came seemingly by happenstance
It picked up the house, causing me to hit my head and faint
When I came to, I found myself in a different place entirely
A land with munchkins, and roads covered with red and yellow paint
And it seems that the house killed a witch who acted direly
I soon acquainted myself with a lion that spoke!
But he wasn't the only strange person I witnessed
I found a scarecrow that somehow thought without thinking, and a strange metal bloke
Not to mention the trees, who threw apples at me and hardly ever missed
And the other wicked witch, though her features were... striking
Was very mean and cruel and cold
I threw a bucket of water on her, not finding her to my liking
Which caused her to melt, would you believe it? I would not if I had been told!
I inquired of a wizard, who was mediocre at best
And asked him how I might get back from whence I came
He said "You aren't supposed to be here, you ignorant pest!"
He snapped his fingers and sent me away, but not before calling me several rude names.
Skyrim
I've dueled against many a mighty soldier
And I've vanquished near unconquerable drakes
But not one book has been studied, and the night grows older
So I should most likely stop the game for my own sake
And yet, the snowy mountains draw me back towards the game
And the remaining dragons are roaring in defiance
Perhaps I should stop living my normal life, to my shame
And form a gaming alliance!
These regular fools have ceased to amuse me
It's time to find friends who understand
These regular people and their trivialities confuse me
I need to locate partners as soon as I possibly can, so we can together band!
You know, once I almost managed to escape
From this addicting virtual universe
But I discovered mods, with new helmets and capes
And now I'll be stuck in the game until I'm stuck in a hearse
I'll be playing this game forever, for better or worse.
wanna bookmark this for next time. wanna see a poem about a day in infestation
This reminded me of this scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXmqCyKhZtw hehe. I don't have an extra key right now, but here's a free bump.
Bump, a grea idea from a great person. Made my day so far :)
Good luck getting that game.
Hey everybody! I'm trying to gather the TF2 keys for Dark Souls 2 solely by using poetry. If you have a copy of Dark Souls 2 that you would be willing to trade in return for reasonable amounts of poetry, I would be very appreciative. Thanks to everybody for the support I've received thus far!
4/25 TF2 keys needed to trade for Dark Souls 2
Also, here's a link to another creative post by someone else: www.steamtrades.com/trade/mrWyp/will-draw-a-picture-with-paint-by-mouse-only-pay-if-satisfied-on
I'm currently trading Fez for a TF2 key as well. Add me to discuss.
It seems to me, that but a single key
Is a paltry sum to pay for poetry
A humble boon, when granted to those who demonstrate creativity!
You must think to yourself "Why, a key per poem, that's all you ask of me?"
Why yes, that's right, exactly!
So if we will, and I will will to write if you will will to pay
Then I dare say we'll both have a pleasant day!
I'm inclined to believe that this poem will be perceived as worthy of being conceived
And that I will be moderately compensated for having demonstrated such grand, illustrious wordplay.
One key per poem. You have the right to do what you will with the poem received. You can tell me what subject(assuming it's..... scrupulous) you wish me to write around
A new poem to add to the wall:
Camping in Insurgency
If you can, spare a moment, and sit by the fire
You can sit down and eat smores while the story transpires
Of a poor, dejected lad, who was the target of much ire
For choosing a more.... sedate strategy
For hiding in caves, in bunkers, in trees
He certainly didn't feel any sense of urgency
He patiently waited to dispatch his foes while playing Insurgency
A veteran camper, who never failed to hamper
The plans of his fellow man
And while he was merely utilizing his vast intellect
They treated him as though he had a defect
And insulted him as much as any person can
But when tensions heightened, the antagonists frightened
And cowardly turned tails and ran.
Yet another poem to add to the wall:
David Hasslehoff
If you're looking for a specimen exemplary
If you're looking for muscles immaculately designed
If you're looking for a creature rudimentary
Yet with a voice so completely refined
You can find these traits yes, in a whale swimming in the ocean or a bird into the distance flying off
But none displayed so prominently as in the specimen Hoff!
He eats ten eggs a day, prepared in various ways
To ensure that his chest hair always glistens
He drinks honey straight from the hive, although the bees against him strive
Because when he endeavors to sing, the bees halt mid-sting, for even even they cannot help but listen!
He once built a boat that failed to float,
Lest his plans go astray, he swam all the way
He arrived at the shore and began to travel more
Whereupon he reached his destination, and began a demonstration
Of his vocal prowess, which none else possess, filling the crowd with elation.
And, another:
Day Z
I once came across a dubious stranger, with a bloody axe in his hand
I deigned contact with him not worth the danger, and he soon felt my own weapon's reprimand
Whereupon I checked his body, and pondered how so laden he could ever stand!
He had a lifesaving assortment of canned goods and skin ointment
That I might have lived comfortably for some time
But alas, while I wondered to my torment, about my hostile comportment,
I was less than vigilant due to my troubled mind
A zombie came and my flesh he did rend, leaving myself barely able to defend
I finally dispatched him, now lame, my leg torn down to it's frame
Without bandages with which to mend, I was resigned to an untimely end
Yet ere darkness took me, a fool for friend mistook me,
I promptly bludgeoned him to the ground as soon as he was turned around
Bound my leg, which soon became sound
Then ever yonder I strode through marsh wood and road
And finally settled down in this humble abode
Lo and behold, here we stand today
I see you have a considerable amount of supplies.......... Please, stay.
And yet one more poem:
Grumpy Cat
In all of my travels, I've yet to see
A cat as disillusioned as Grumpy Cat.
She finds no joy in the flowers, in the trees
She takes no pleasure in buttons or hats
And she fails to comprehend why her owner portends that a red light is a living thing
I beheld lions and tigers and and all manner of feline
But none as brooding as Grump, it's true
While even the largest cats frolic from time to time
Her disposition is unwaveringly blue
And she just can't tolerate the happiness immoderate, of an average cat laying hold of string
Her face is crinkled with grumpiness incalculable
Her brow is set with annoyance
Nothing has ever elicited a smile, for nothing is able
Not a funny face, nor a humorous dance
And to her owner's chagrin, not even tuna makes her grin,
for Grumpy Cat finds even the fanciest kinds of cat food disappointing
Perhaps one day, her owner's concern's will be allayed
But I most sincerely doubt that tuna, mackerel, or trout
Lights flashing everywhere and all about
String flailing this way and that
Or the friendship of a neighborhood cat
Could ever curtail her grumpy ways
Could ever convince her to even endeavor to play.
I've added a poem I wrote just for fun.
The Accidental Curator
I've been here for nigh on a decade
And I still don't understand for what this building was made
I was without employment, much to my enjoyment
And in my idling I should have stayed
But I received a call stating that I was "hired"
And was bade arrive at six the following morning, lest I be fired
I came and observed my superior to "See how it was done", and finally left at one
The subsequent day, much to my dismay, I was left to fulfill my post without assistance
Imitating my employer, I mostly remained in the foyer, glaring at guests from a distance.
Many chairs have come and gone, but nary a one to sit upon!
And when children reach for toys, much to my astonishment, their parents utter the gravest admonishment!
Bones excessively line the halls, from fish, to humongous lizards, standing tall
Exceedingly still savages, seemingly immune to time's ravages, within velvet ropes enthralled
And yet with this knowledge I have been unable to discern
The nature of this mysterious structure, with it's tombs and urns
From these imperious crowns I've been unable to learn
And when I talk to the stone faces, not even a sound is made in return.
It seems to me that I'll remain forever ignorant
As to the purpose of things such as the jade and ivory elephants
But now, I'm afraid I must bid you adieu
To resume doing whatever it is I do
To intensely gaze while maintaining a presumptuous air
To grow indignant when someone insults any object, as if I care
To fold my hands behind my back, in the most disapproving way
To generally be displeasant, day after day.
Another poem about cats:
The Insidious Nature of Felines
If you are prospectively searching for felines
I warn you, end your search instantly
They'll quickly mangle your leather and scratch your pine
To mark the beginning of their reign of tyranny
They'll beleaguer you incessantly all throughout the night
To make sure you always remain awake
And your efforts will fail, though you try with all your might
To bathe them properly, due to the commotion they make
They'll hatch devious schemes to defraud you of your fish
With their undeniably adorable eyes
But as soon as you have given them all for which they wish
They'll immediately drop their guise
If you are looking for an animal, adopt a dog or buy a bird
For the very notion of attempting to own a cat is simply absurd
While with training an avian or canine might come to follow your every word
A cat will lay around upon the ground and stare at you, unstirred.
Your New Glorious Leader
This is a message from the Uber Ethereal
My motives I will no longer conceal
We wish to... enlighten you
And we have no wish to frighten you
So if you would, please kindly end resistance
For if you choose to decline our offer, you may face our insistence
And that is something in your best interests to avoid
As of now, your constitutions are now null and void
Your weaponry is obscenely crude
And it will do nothing against me save darken my mood
So please kindly submit and lay down your arms
We do not wish your people any harm
We do not care whether or not you "want to believe"
Or whether or not you wish us to leave
We've resolved to evolve you that we may involve you in the solving of all our problems, as you may have heard
And we must confess that our first contact caused unnecessary stress but nonetheless we will continue to press onward.
The Walking Dead (And continuation of The Accidental Curator)
On my day off I was strolling through a rather pleasant, wooded path
When much to my dismay
A rather odd fellow came up to me, with evident wrath
And even more evident decay
I said hello, and he snarled in reply
At which point I asked what ailed him
I only received a glare from his baleful eyes
Right before a group of marauders assailed him
They shot him in the chest and in the face
Then prodded him for signs of life
I soon told the whole lot that they were an unseemly disgrace
Whereupon they looked at me strangely, and one of them offered me a knife
I slapped the murderous instrument away in disgust
And told them I'd never accompany their gang
They then looked at me as if I was crazy and replied, "You must"
Which incited me to give them a proper harangue
"You killed a man without remorse, you people are savages, or worse!"
"I understand he wasn't very polite, but rudeness doesn't make murder right!"
At which point they abandoned me, making remarks about my alleged "stupidity"
And now I roam from dawn to gloam, completely and terribly alone.
A Letter of Introduction
Allow me to introduce yours truly
Now before we proceed, I don't mean to worry you unduly
But I'm allergic to melons, they make me extremely sick
I'm even studying to become a doctor, and I've tried every trick
Yet even chocolate is an incapable antidote
Yes, even pure cocoa cannot soothe the pain in my throat
But allergies notwithstanding, I'm fairly amazing
I'm studious, and diligent, I've never once been caught dazing
I disassemble advanced algorithms in my sleep
When you see me gaze into the distance, I'm thinking thoughts extremely deep
I've solved riddles that can't be comprehended by the average mind
I've discovered entire universes that no one else was able to find
I leave all of my colleagues so far behind
That they throng around me, trying to get their books signed
I travel to see sophisticated architecture when I need to unwind
And when I greet even the most prominent scientists, they respond in kind
And now, with my characteristics properly outlined
You must concede that in every way you've been thoroughly out shined.
The Curator Happens Into Oz
After roaming until I had spent all my strength
I sat down on the ground in despair
And after thinking about my predicament at great length
I concluded that it wasn't fair
Once I had properly rested, I again began to walk
My legs felt terribly, horribly, atrociously thoroughly worryingly sore
And being alone was lonely, so to my lonesome I began to talk
I said to me "Don't you see? we're passing the same trees we have before!"
I suddenly came upon a house that seemed unusual indeed
But for all it's quirks, I was still seeking shelter
And I was in desperate need of food other than grubs and the occasional weed
So I broke out in a full sprint, running helter-skelter
I knocked for several minutes, then deduced that no one was in
Whereupon I came inside and foraged for sustenance
And found none in the pantries, cabinets, or bins
But before I had time to lament, a strong gale came seemingly by happenstance
It picked up the house, causing me to hit my head and faint
When I came to, I found myself in a different place entirely
A land with munchkins, and roads covered with red and yellow paint
And it seems that the house killed a witch who acted direly
I soon acquainted myself with a lion that spoke!
But he wasn't the only strange person I witnessed
I found a scarecrow that somehow thought without thinking, and a strange metal bloke
Not to mention the trees, who threw apples at me and hardly ever missed
And the other wicked witch, though her features were... striking
Was very mean and cruel and cold
I threw a bucket of water on her, not finding her to my liking
Which caused her to melt, would you believe it? I would not if I had been told!
I inquired of a wizard, who was mediocre at best
And asked him how I might get back from whence I came
He said "You aren't supposed to be here, you ignorant pest!"
He snapped his fingers and sent me away, but not before calling me several rude names.
Skyrim
I've dueled against many a mighty soldier
And I've vanquished near unconquerable drakes
But not one book has been studied, and the night grows older
So I should most likely stop the game for my own sake
And yet, the snowy mountains draw me back towards the game
And the remaining dragons are roaring in defiance
Perhaps I should stop living my normal life, to my shame
And form a gaming alliance!
These regular fools have ceased to amuse me
It's time to find friends who understand
These regular people and their trivialities confuse me
I need to locate partners as soon as I possibly can, so we can together band!
You know, once I almost managed to escape
From this addicting virtual universe
But I discovered mods, with new helmets and capes
And now I'll be stuck in the game until I'm stuck in a hearse
I'll be playing this game forever, for better or worse.