A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall.
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!
Here is one. I guess it depends on your IQ if you will understand it/think it is funny.
If it is too much for you and you don't get the point, try 'Matthew Perry puppet joke'. If you don't get this one either, try 'Matthew Perry polar bear joke'. If you don't get the third one either, dissregard my entry.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent pee.
Another one just for the lolz:
What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel!
Two turds are leaning to a wall round the corner of a bank.
A diarrhea comes along: "Hey guys, what are you up to?!"
"Psssst...! We are about to rob this bank, dude!"
The diarrhea get's excited whispering: "Oh, great! Can I join in?!"
"No mate, that's a job for the hard ones!"
Old people at weddings used to poke me and say, "you're next".
So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
May I present you with... A BAD JOKE!!! (Made it myself) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vFZ9g9_5YI
Another one:
A blonde was standing in the middle of the road one day,
she wondered why the truck in front of her was getting bigger and bigger.
No matter how much she thought, she couldn't figure it out.
And then it hit her...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aU7g_PqsRZk
german vid but maybe you understand it :p
Superman was flying through Metropolis when he happened to spot Lois Lane, lying completely naked on top of the Daily Planet building!
He decided he could do with a bit of a release, so he decided to fly down, have sex with Lois in super speed, and fly off again, before she even noticed he'd been there.
After he's flown off, Lois looks confused. What on earth was that? She asks.
I have no idea, replies the invisible man, but my ass is killing me!
An Engineering student failed in Exam & decided to make
a deal with professor.
Engg:Sir, Can I ask u one que?
Prof: Yes.
Engg: If u can answer dis question, i will
accept my final marks, if u cant, u have to
give me "A".
Professor agreed.
Boy asked: "What is legal but not logical,
logical but not legal & neither legal nor
logical?"
Prof thought about it for hrs & pondered
no answer.
He had to finally give up as he really did
not know.
He gave the boy his "A".
The following day, professor asked same
question to his students.
He was shocked when all of them raised
their hands.
He asked one student.
He answered:
Sir, u are 65, married to 28 yrs old woman,
dis is legal but not logical.
Ur wife, is having an affair with a 23 year
old boy, dis is logical but not legal.
Ur wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam &
yet u have given him an "A", dis is neither
logical nor legal.
Two guys are sitting in the cinema.
One of the guys farted.
The second man is asking:
Excuse me sir, did you just fart?
and then he answered:
Yes but what is the problem?
ANOTHER GIVEAWAY!!
What u can win: Serious Sam: Double D
What u need to do: tell me a joke/ send a link to a joke/videoes. (rating 1-10)
Giveaway ends: 2 hours (17:49) UTC/GMT +2 hours
OFFERS IS ALLOWED TOO!
Good Luck ppl :)